By Charlie Badderly
Do you find talking to men on a deep emotional level is a struggle for you? Find your man pulls away if you try to open up and talk to him? It can be so frustrating so here we will cover some methods of how to go about connecting with him on a deeper level.
Here are a few communication tips to help you turn your words into deeper feelings in his heart. Winning a man’s heart starts and ends with your emotional connection to him, and nothing builds a strong, deep, cozy, safe and sexy emotional connection like the right words at the right moment, spoken from the right place in your heart.
So the words to make a guy fall in love with you? You need to share your sentiments and open up to him. Not in a needy way just an honest way. How many times have you been in the position of trying to please the other person in the vain hope that your will also have your needs met too by doing so? It doesn’t happen and is the way to make yourself feel miserable.
It’s important to have your own needs and express them clearly. This allows you to build your self-worth while giving you the opportunity to make room for your feelings in the relationship. However, it’s also important to make a man want to provide your needs. When you talk with a man from a place of blame or entitlement, it’s harder for him to feel inspired.
The key is to show him how you feel inside. This will stir up his empathetic side and make him feel connected to you. He will suddenly want to provide your needs and take care of you. When you are walled off and just barking a list of honey-dos at him, he feels infantilized and controlled.
Lets look at an example of this in action. Have yu seen the commercials for dog charities? The ones that show the really cute dogs that have been abused. They break your heart don’t they? If you watched one of those and it was someone nagging at you to give them money or saying it in a very stiff straight way, you wouldn’t want to give your money would you. These are the emotional hooks we are talking about that you need.
In recent studies, guys were shown pictures of women in strong confident poses and then more women in vulnerable poses. Overall they rated the more vulnerable poses as much more sexy. This is something which is genetically programmed in with guys so we need to learn to use it.
It’s hard for a man to open up and when a woman does it easily, he is enchanted. He not only feels that she trusts him, but he feels that she has the secret tools to help him deal with his own scary vulnerability. Be brave and drop your guard to enchant him.
In my pursuing of men in the past, I focused my words on the men instead of on sharing my feelings with them. I would ask them what they were feeling and thinking and preach my thoughts and theories on why they were commitment phobic or emotionally unavailable. I would give them incentives to want me (“You know this relationship is good for you! You need to learn how to love and I can help you with that!”).